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The day is finally upon us. The third Fifty Shades installment, Fifty Shades Freed — or what the advertisements are so cleverly calling the climax get it?! In honor of the series' highly anticipated finishhere's a Very Scientific ranking of the franchise's most memorable sex scenes … so far. If you'd like to follow along at home, you can stream the first two movies here and here. Arguably, this is the most realistic of all the sex scenes in the Fifty Shades series. Christian and Ana have already slept together for the first time, which presumably means he's already awoken her "Inner Goddess.

DIY and then almost goes down on Ana. But just when things are starting Shadow porn sex scene get good, we hear the voice of Marcia Gay Harden in a woefully underused role as Christian's mother.

Oh no! Ana's naked, but Christian's mom is there! Time to put some clothes on! This scene will resonate deeply with anyone who has tried to engage in some sexy time, only to be thwarted by the sudden appearance of a family member Nude mcdonalds phone camera photos annoying roommate.

This scene aims to titillate — Christian ties up Ana's wrists and blindfolds her with her shirt, then grabs an ice cube. He runs it slowly and sensuallyof course down her body, flips her over, spanks her, puts on a condom like a respectable gentleman, and has sex with her doggy style.

Unfortunately, I have to detract points for how much emphasis the director decided to put on that damn ice cube. It almost becomes comical. Ana's been wearin' silver balls up in her vagina throughout an entire auction, as one does.

After Ana wins loses? They passionately kiss. He ties up her wrists. Then he unties her, takes out the balls, and flips her over, and then He asks her to come for him, but, like, it's only been a few minutes.

Has Christian ever actually had sex with a lady? Does he know how long it takes women to finish? OK, maybe this is the most relatable sex scene because it's Good manga xxx video online of feels straight outta datenight. Christian goes down on Ana one of the only decent traits about him is that he's enthusiastic about performing oral sex. They then proceed to have tame missionary sex because they are clearly no longer reading our expert-approved tips for spicing up their sex lives.

Anyway, during a spirited game of billiards, Christian says he hopes Ana's not a sore loser. Her reply? He bends her over and then proceeds to have sex with her from behind, on the pool table, because he once heard Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy?

Real talk: Most of the Fifty Shades Darker sexxxxx scenes kind of blur together. This scene is different ish because Christian uses a metal spreader bar on Ana Shadow porn sex scene on Amazonif you're Shadow porn sex scene, because if there's one thing the Fifty Shades series is good at, it's selling stuff. He goes down on her again, flips her over, and has doggy style sex with her.

Everybody wins! After a highly implausible shower escapade their If you're into that, this is great! If you're not, it's not. The most exciting part of this, to me, is their ability to travel so swiftly Shadow porn sex scene shower to Red Room without an awkward exchange of towels. Movie magic at its finest. This was the moment Shadow porn sex scene was waiting for. The first time they do it. The people behind-the-scenes really tried their hardest to make this seem romantic, and Shadow porn sex scene the way everyone wishes they had lost their virginity.

There's a shot Shadow porn sex scene Ana's leg hair because virgins don't shave their thighs, Shadow porn sex sceneyou get a Jamie Dornan butt shot, and then you get some standard issue missionary sex, because as we will come to learn throughout the series, Christian Grey is a man of few actually exciting sex moves.

Or, wait…is this what everyone was waiting for? Set to the tune of Shadow porn sex scene mediocre cover of "Crazy In Love," filled to the brim with flogging, rope, restraints, and sex Honestly, this is the only legitimately hot scene in the entire first two movies.

Because a it's in publicand b it's not just overt softcore porn. The best part, though, is you know Ana is getting off here, and not just Christian, which automatically makes it better than their other sexy time encounters. Plus, the music choice "Moondance" by Van Morrison was a nice surprise. Who Shadow porn sex scene love doin' it to Van Morrison? Still, it's pretty ridiculous that nobody would be able to tell that his hand Shadow porn sex scene up her skirt.

How do you maneuver your skirt that easily? How does no one in the elevator realize what's going on? Will Ana Shadow porn sex scene her underwear back after giving it to Shadow porn sex scene at dinner? These are all confounding questions, and it just goes to show that Fifty Shades ' true genre is mystery.

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